Desert Island Dream

I'm Cait. I'm 21.
I am for suicide prevention, gay rights, love, being a nerd and tea.
Talk to me. I promise I am always here to listen.
My ask is open.

Trigger warning on content in this blog. Also NSFW. Like... not safe at all

I hate my stomach problems…

I hate that I have been to a few different doctors and specialists and NO ONE KNOWS what is wrong with me.

I hate that I have no clue if the meds they gave me to try are going to do anything. (I just took a pill. Hopefully it’ll do something.)

I hate that I need to get blood drawn regularly so they can see if something is changing and causing this.

I hate that they want me to get an endoscopy… =(

I forgot my meds at home…

Has anyone missed a dose of their antidepressant?

I take cymbalta. What am I in for if I don’t go home and get my meds?

I feel like I haven’t really been informing you about my life lately…

If anyone really cares. =P 

But no, I have been doing really well lately. I can feel my medication working and it’s really amazing. There have been times where I knew if I weren’t on meds I would have had a panic attack but the panic attack never came. 

There have been times where I really didn’t want to get out of bed because everything just seemed so overwhelming. But now I’m able to break it into small steps. If I take the day in small steps I know I can manage to get through it. So getting out of bed is the same way… If I try to think of everything I need to do at once it just gets crazy. But if I tell myself “Okay, just sit up.” and I manage that and then I say “Okay, go brush your teeth,” and I manage that I can say “Okay, now start breakfast,” and before I know it I’m out the door.

I also drove! I actually asked my friend to take me out driving. I drove around the parking lots and it was great. And I managed to park the car really well on my first try. And I was anxious but usually it takes a panic attack to even get me behind the wheel of a car, and that didn’t happen.

So yeah… I’ve been pretty happy. =)

I feel obligated to tell Tumblr I ain’t doing well

Because people on Tumblr really help me stay strong.

I’m seeing the psychiatrist on Friday.
I don’t know how I feel about this.

Scared I guess.

I don’t know how I feel about medication.

But I’m sleepy now. Night.

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